Thursday, October 19, 2017

220


Happy monthly anniversary, my love. It's been a hard month since we lost Charlotte. We had the hard, tough decision to put her down as her brain tumor was consuming her. As much as we did it out of love, it was still agonizing to see that light go from her eyes when the vet gave her that final injection. We wept as we watched her slow down her breathing until an eternal stillness. She wasn't our cat anymore. She was a lifeless collection of fur and muscle and teeth and claws, forever gone and beyond our reach. It's in that heartbreaking moment where I don't want pets every again, no matter how much I love them and how much they love us. I don't want the heartache. I don't want the pain of giving them away to death. I don't want to see you cry. I know you have been through this many times before, but I don't want you to be hurt like this. I don't want you to ever be that hurt. And yet I know it's more likely than not that I'll die before you. I have a hard time reconciling that. I love you, but I can't protect you from the pain that will find us one day.

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