Tuesday, June 19, 2018


19 years as of today. 19 years, sometime after 1 p.m. Seattle time, you said yes. I don’t remember much else. Flashes, I think. Important parts after the names and faces. I remember us. I remember a tapestry of a crowd. I remember it didn’t rain. I remember the white archway. I remember a rookie preacher, us being his first marriage. Your sister sang, a friend of ours did a reading. It was fast, the whole thing. I think the tapestry of the crowd was more excited than we were. We knew what we wanted. I think sometimes the wedding is for other people. No, look, really, we are doing this. We are a for-real couple and we dressed up to say things and you will give us gifts and no there won’t be dancing.

I think we wanted it over with. I think this was a formality, some kind of ritual that we had to do for everyone’s benefit. But we knew already. We knew that having words spoken or rings exchanged wouldn’t matter. We were already there, at that place that the ceremony was supposed to symbolize. Everyone else was catching up. 

Now we are here, 19 years distant. Between that and how long I knew you before, you’ve been part of my life for more than half of it now. It’s the better half, without a doubt. I can only hope I do the same for you. I love you.

Saturday, May 19, 2018


This month we've traveled to what people would call paradise. It's a family thing, and I want you to know I'm trying not to be in my head for this and enjoying the time away from work and cats and what I do all day in front of a laptop, drafting up imaginary people and synthetic personalities. It's hard for me, relaxing. I don't have a lot of experience being in the moment. I'll try. I'll be with you. I'll swim with turtles. I will be a tourist. I will try and inhabit another skin for a while. With you. I love you.

Thursday, April 19, 2018


To my love, a happy monthly anniversary. Thank you for being there. Thank you for helping me along when I struggle and falter. Thank you for being understanding. Thank you for having faith. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for saying yes. I love you. 

Monday, March 19, 2018


I miss you, my love. I’m ahead of you by 20 hours, so it’ll be first time we have a monthly anniversary that’ll last two days and we’re apart for it. I know I’ll be home in a few days, culminating in the longest Friday of my life. I think you’d really enjoy New Zealand. It’s a lot like Seattle, pushed through a European filter of being a crossroad for culture, a social safety net, and a general feeling of calm and welcoming. It’s not perfect, no place is, but I think you would enjoy it here. I suspect I’ll be travel far more than I was in the gaming industry. I hope to take you along in this adventure at some point. We’ll have Hawaii in a couple months, so at least there’s that. Anyway, I’ll be home soon. I love you.

Monday, February 19, 2018


Happy monthly anniversary to you, my love. It’s been a month of starts and stops, of waiting and seeing, but also a month of change when it comes to me… or at least work. I think I might have something lined up. I’m in that limbo of paperwork and different time zones between me and a potential employer. Thank you for being patient and supportive all this time. Thank you for being proud of me during them time of endless resumes and applications I love you.