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I don't have much to write this time. I'm sorry I'm not better. I'm sorry I can't be the one who gets the job. I'm sorry I'm not happier. Or healthier. Sometimes I really think you deserve to be with someone who has it more together, who isn't lost in his own head, who isn't always his worst enemy. 

I love you. I'm sorry. I wish I was better. I always feel one step behind what I should be. I don't know how you can be so patient with me.