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When you start out dating, you never know how things will turn out. You are nervous, awkward, unsure, but compelled to find someone to be with. You meet a lot of different people...some you have good memories with, and others you shake your head over, wondering what you were thinking. The dirty secret about dating and relationships that no one tells you is this: we find ourselves learning about ourselves (like what we like and hate about our ideal mate) at the expense of the people we date. It's only after you break up do you get the bulk of the wisdom that was contained in your brief relationship. It's usually a hard-earned knowledge, and in the ebb and flow of falling in and out of love, you never think you'll find "The One."
And then, one day when we aren't really looking, we find someone that elusive One ...someone who loves us for who we are, and someone who we love and trust despite all of our past heartaches and headaches. This someone makes us take that leap because this one is not only better than everyone else around, he or she is that person we can't imagine living without. All past treacheries fade and you only see a promise of love now and forever.
Today, my wife Sheila and I celebrate nine years of being married. When I first started in the awkward fumblings of dating (and boy was I a dork as a wee teen), I never imagined I would end up married, living in the Seattle area, having a cozy little home of my own, and working for one of the top video game publishers in the industry. Sure, I daydreamed about ending up with, say, Shirley Manson circa Garbage's first album...or Bjork circa "Human Behavior," but never in my wildest dreams did I think I would end up with someone infinitely better as my wife.
After nine years, I can only say that I hope I made her more happy than upset in our time together. I also hope I am still worthy of her. I freely admit I've done dumb, emotional things in the past, and I'll likely still do them. But she inspires me to believe in myself and to improve, yet she loves me for who I am...prime qualities when you look for a One.
So, to my wife, I love you. Happy nine years. And I hope many happy more.
