120, or 10 Years

Today, 10 years ago, my beloved and I stood before family and friends on a luckily sunny Saturday afternoon (outdoor wedding and all) and got married. We smiled and posed for photos as the musicians played. We were far better dressed than we ever were before, something that both made us itchy but regal in our finery. We had the usual bundle of nerves, all caused by the swirl of wedding plans being properly executed and the locust swarm of guests.

But besides the typical white noise found on a wedding day, I found myself far more relaxed than I expected. I didn't find getting married as something terrifying, likely because I found the person I wanted to be with. I found someone who loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. Why should I be nervous? In awe, sure....but not nervous. Trepidation like that means you were going to lose something precious, or that you would be found out as a fraud, not worthy of this gift you are about to receive. Neither was true, although I could see why people would be nervous. They'd think they weren't sure that they could survive such a transition, such a launch into a new plateau that was symbolic of commitment and adulthood. Me, I didn't want to linger in that ether.

I think a lot about that day. I think about how there were people in the crowd more emotional than me. Perhaps they saw the marriage as a symbol, a renewal of their own commitment, and to see people they knew as children grow into this ritual...well, it can be breathtaking.

But I think about that calm feeling. I think about how I wanted to be with my beloved. It was all natural then, and that feeling has stretched out for 10 years now. It's changed in subtle ways, like people will do over the course of a decade, but I still feel as content as I did standing in front of family and friends and pledging my love to my wife. I see ourselves in front of that altar then and together in our house now. I have no sense of time, just memories. I think that's the best result could hope for: Experiencing the journey of time together without the strain of the mileage.

And for that I'm truly blessed.

Happy Anniversary to my lovely wife. Happy 10 Years.