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By the time you read this, I'll be in the home stretch of the Gamescom video game expo in Cologne. I won't be around for your monthly anniversary. Even though I'll be surrounded by thousands of adoring video game fanatics, even though I'll be wrapped in the chaos and heat and light that would overstimulate a Zen monk, I'll be lonely without you. Because of the time difference, our monthly anniversary will overlap: me getting it first, and then you with a nine-hour delay. Our anniversary will last about 41 hours or so, a first! It'll be as if we pushed the planet out of alignment and made out special day about one-third longer.

I love you, my darling. I'll be home soon. Please still love me, even if I smell like an airplane.