143
To my love. I'm sorry I'm not in the best of moods. I'm fighting a losing battle against a headcold and a have a half-dozen headaches from my job. Thank you for being sweet and kind, letting me grumble as I decompress from a long, sneezy day. I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful monthly anniversary.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
140
A very big scare today. I couldn't access this account today to update for our monthly anniversary. A mad scramble, lots of typing, raiding email accounts...finally, here. I know who are is far more than a monthly update, but this is one of the rituals I have that makes me feel balanced when it comes to love. Once a month, and not on Valentine's Day or on a yearly anniversary, is a far better frequency to stand up and let everyone know how much I love you. Without that, something feels off, deficient. I tell you everyday that I love you, and yet I feel like I should do it more. I tell you I love you when one of us leaves the house or when we are hanging up the phone, just so you know, if that's the last you ever see of me, you know that I love you.
And here, once a month in the bandwidth, this is my shout. I love you, my dear.
A very big scare today. I couldn't access this account today to update for our monthly anniversary. A mad scramble, lots of typing, raiding email accounts...finally, here. I know who are is far more than a monthly update, but this is one of the rituals I have that makes me feel balanced when it comes to love. Once a month, and not on Valentine's Day or on a yearly anniversary, is a far better frequency to stand up and let everyone know how much I love you. Without that, something feels off, deficient. I tell you everyday that I love you, and yet I feel like I should do it more. I tell you I love you when one of us leaves the house or when we are hanging up the phone, just so you know, if that's the last you ever see of me, you know that I love you.
And here, once a month in the bandwidth, this is my shout. I love you, my dear.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
139
To my love, a happy 139 months of being married together in love. I'm sorry I can't be more cheerful on this day, but I'm worried about my grandmother. She fell again, and I can't escape the dread that, despite a number of close calls in her long life, she's not going to be with us much longer. I'm distracted, thinking about everything from the last time we saw her - frail, but aware; mood swings that would take her from joking to despair - to what I'll likely eulogize when the inevitable comes. I don't want this day to be about looming death, but I can't escape it. I love you so much, and holding you last night kept me from being too adrift in a wine-dark sea of morbid thoughts.
To my love, a happy 139 months of being married together in love. I'm sorry I can't be more cheerful on this day, but I'm worried about my grandmother. She fell again, and I can't escape the dread that, despite a number of close calls in her long life, she's not going to be with us much longer. I'm distracted, thinking about everything from the last time we saw her - frail, but aware; mood swings that would take her from joking to despair - to what I'll likely eulogize when the inevitable comes. I don't want this day to be about looming death, but I can't escape it. I love you so much, and holding you last night kept me from being too adrift in a wine-dark sea of morbid thoughts.
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