140
A very big scare today. I couldn't access this account today to update for our monthly anniversary. A mad scramble, lots of typing, raiding email accounts...finally, here. I know who are is far more than a monthly update, but this is one of the rituals I have that makes me feel balanced when it comes to love. Once a month, and not on Valentine's Day or on a yearly anniversary, is a far better frequency to stand up and let everyone know how much I love you. Without that, something feels off, deficient. I tell you everyday that I love you, and yet I feel like I should do it more. I tell you I love you when one of us leaves the house or when we are hanging up the phone, just so you know, if that's the last you ever see of me, you know that I love you.
And here, once a month in the bandwidth, this is my shout. I love you, my dear.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
139
To my love, a happy 139 months of being married together in love. I'm sorry I can't be more cheerful on this day, but I'm worried about my grandmother. She fell again, and I can't escape the dread that, despite a number of close calls in her long life, she's not going to be with us much longer. I'm distracted, thinking about everything from the last time we saw her - frail, but aware; mood swings that would take her from joking to despair - to what I'll likely eulogize when the inevitable comes. I don't want this day to be about looming death, but I can't escape it. I love you so much, and holding you last night kept me from being too adrift in a wine-dark sea of morbid thoughts.
To my love, a happy 139 months of being married together in love. I'm sorry I can't be more cheerful on this day, but I'm worried about my grandmother. She fell again, and I can't escape the dread that, despite a number of close calls in her long life, she's not going to be with us much longer. I'm distracted, thinking about everything from the last time we saw her - frail, but aware; mood swings that would take her from joking to despair - to what I'll likely eulogize when the inevitable comes. I don't want this day to be about looming death, but I can't escape it. I love you so much, and holding you last night kept me from being too adrift in a wine-dark sea of morbid thoughts.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
138
Happy monthly anniversary to my darling, kind, and loving wife. I missed yo so much while I was working late in the past couple of weeks. Being at home with you again relaxes me, makes me feel safe and in proper working order. Our house needs life in it, and when one of us is away for too long, the house no longer feels welcome. Shadows grow longer, noises are more sinister, and the bed never feels right. I love you, and thank you for being my wife.
Happy monthly anniversary to my darling, kind, and loving wife. I missed yo so much while I was working late in the past couple of weeks. Being at home with you again relaxes me, makes me feel safe and in proper working order. Our house needs life in it, and when one of us is away for too long, the house no longer feels welcome. Shadows grow longer, noises are more sinister, and the bed never feels right. I love you, and thank you for being my wife.
Friday, November 19, 2010
137
Happy 137 months of marriage to my lovely wife. Thank you for all your love and support during my long match up the 50,000-word hill for NaNoWriMo. It's been crazy, but I'm relieved that I made it again this year. Thank you for all your cheers and your gentle approaches while I'm in the midst of writing. We writers are a flighty bunch. We spook easily, running like gazelles when startled, and I love that you gave me space yet were close enough to make sure I knew I was loved.
Happy 137 months of marriage to my lovely wife. Thank you for all your love and support during my long match up the 50,000-word hill for NaNoWriMo. It's been crazy, but I'm relieved that I made it again this year. Thank you for all your cheers and your gentle approaches while I'm in the midst of writing. We writers are a flighty bunch. We spook easily, running like gazelles when startled, and I love that you gave me space yet were close enough to make sure I knew I was loved.
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