258

To my love. We are halfway through the dark of a Scandinavian winter and approaching the end of a fricative year for us, for everyone. I know you miss your family. I know you miss what was our home. I know you are enduring. I wish it all could be better, but we need to get through this. I believe we will. But like the year has been for a lot of us, this time is going to change us. I hope you know you are loved. I hope you know you don't have to endure this alone. I love you, and out of all the things, I want you to know that. 

 257

To my love. It looks like we will be marooned in Europe again for the holidays. We can't go back to America because of the virus. I know this hurts and I wish I could do more. I know we will be okay, but it will be coldness and darkness in another foreign place. A year ago we were heading east to another city in Europe. Now, we moved and found a new home in another cultured, vibrant port city. It is still half a life knowing we can't be with our loved ones again. I promise to do what I can to make the holidays happy and warm for us, living in a space capsule of sorts thousands of miles away from the gravity of childhood memory and family.

 256

To my love. Another monthly anniversary for us. We are in our new home, the real one. Not a temporary corporate lodging, but our actual place where we can have our own furniture and put our things on the walls. We are in our space, for however long it might be. 

I hope you are happy here. I hope I am good to you. 

 255

To my love, another happy monthly anniversary. It has been a whirlwind 12 months for us. I hope it settles soon, especially as we set up in our new home, trying to make a new normal. I'm sorry for my anxiety at this time. I'm sorry for the turbulence in me. I never wanted to have any of what's in me spill out. All I ever wanted was you to be happy and safe. I hope you always will be. I love you.

254

To my love. I hope you are always happy. No matter what. You deserve to be.

253

To my love, 

This time next month we will be elsewhere. 

We will be away from here, away from where everything was hopeful until it wasn’t. I don’t know this was going to be a toxic mess of tribal knowledge and toying with emotions. 

I’m done. We’re both done with here. And I’m happy you said I was doing everything right. I took control, found a new job, and left on my own terms. I didn’t let my depression win. I didn’t collapse and be passive. We’re just about done. Just a couple more things to wrap up and then what I plan to be a scene drive north. 

I feel better. Thank you for helping me out out of the darkness of the past few months. I love you.

252

21 years. Happy anniversary, my love. Thank you for coming on this adventure. Thank you  for your compassion. Thank you for reading everything I have  written. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for you love. Thank you for believing when I didn’t. Thank you for your love. 

251

To my love, a happy monthly anniversary. We are still trapped in our apartment, working like distant satellites to our respective offices. At least it's peaceful here, although you've had to step in and help me with my work anxieties. We are here for each other. I am grateful. I hope I always make you leave and make you feel at ease. I love you.

250

Happy anniversary, my love. We are still tucked into our European apartment, awaiting the end of this virus. We are safe and healthy for now, albeit just a little stir crazy from the isolation. You've been kind and supportive while I've been dealing with work stress while working from home. We've been smart about keeping our spirits up. Maybe it's our long-time introvert personalities coming to the rescue.

But we are doing as well as we can for now. And I'm grateful that, for all we are going through, we are here and together. I love you.

249

I wish this month was better. I wish I was better. We, like so many other people in homes and apartments around the world, are locked up as we all try to hide from the virus. We are now feet apart, each of us working remotely.  It's been a hard time all around, but at least we've been kind and patient with each other. Thank you for being supportive as I've been going through the recent turbulence. I don't think I would have made it this far without you and the cats. I don't deserve you, my love.

248

Happy monthly anniversary to my love. We are finding our footing, going out more and making our new home... well, our home. Living without cars. Living with daily shopping. Living in the pace of a city. Living in the slipstream of a dozen cultures and languages. Living with timezones and different languages. I know you think about where we came from now and then, but this place is becoming our haven. We are setting down roots, making out apartment our own. And for now we are happy here. We are grateful, we are warm, we are relaxed. Us, our cats, and our freedom.

247

Happy monthly anniversary, my love. The streets are becoming more familiar. Our new place is becoming more as if we always lived here. Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for helping me as I adjust to life and to work. I hope I always make you happy.