286

Happy monthly anniversary, my love. Now in the multi-clouded climes of Seattle again. We have left our European adventure behind to return to familiar ground. Both of us with new jobs, a new home, and hopefully newer, fresher selves, devoid of the limits and struggles we had with the languages, the cultural clashes, and the employment blockages for you working abroad. Now we are spinning up a new permanent home, a new car (which is unfortunately necessary), and getting back to the ambient, low-dose chaos and anxiety that is America. At least we have each other and relative calm of Seattle around us. 

 285

To my wife. Happy monthly anniversary in Berlin, where the depressive shroud that is winter slowly gives way to spring. Where the local park has planted flowers budding white, yellow, and purple. Where the snow has stopped and the sun is lasting minutes longer per day. Where families and dogs are appearing in the memorial grounds to lounge in the greening grass. The city is coming back to life, seasons are moving forward in that hopeful, energetic way where anything seems possible and you can rebound from any setback. I hope this is true. I hope the job lands with confirmation so we can break out of this holding pattern. We can move on. I will no longer be the spouse in the desert. 

 284

Happy monthly anniversary, and now we look west after admitting that Germany was not the destination we need. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for being ready to move again, and now we will look at a place where we can both work. It's only fair, even if it means we have to give up Europe and return to the brutal battleground that is America. We would be back, hopefully in Seattle, after 3-4 years. We had an adventure, but I think we always knew that Europe was temporary. At least we had this adventure together, and I am grateful for your patience and openness to our eastward travels. 

 283

Happy monthly anniversary. We have gotten through the gauntlet of the the holidays and now we go through the the dark of winter in Berlin, a special gray kind of darkness that is still haunted from its days east of the Wall. At least things are getting stable with work and we are finding the city less alien. Especially with us finding our way around the city. It is becoming our home.

 282

Happy monthly anniversary, my dear. We are approaching the end of the year having survived an international move, a new role, and adjusted to life in a massive city again. Better food and strangely cheaper groceries. Harder to find an apartment. A greater hustle after being locked down in Copenhagen awaiting our visas. But we are here now, about to celebrate Christmas with a surprise last-minute visit from my folks. We won't be alone for the holidays. We will have some kind of normal Christmas again, and now without having to endure a flight across an ocean. We will be in our home.